Motivation As A Stay At Home Mom (Mom Blues)
Motivation as a SAHM can be difficult to find and muster at times. There are so many causes for a mom slump that we must find a way to dig ourselves out. It can be hard especially if your family does not understand why you are feeling blue or just unmotivated. There have been a many small arguments in my own house about how I could possible be stressed since I am a SAHM. It may not always be the easiest thing for others to understand, but it does happen.
I have woken up some mornings already tired of hearing “momma, momma” from my little man or I know my S.O. is stressed which makes me stressed. As a mom and I feel a woman in general we try to bare a lot of the emotional weight for our families and ourselves.
Feeling unmotivated and down can cause you to get behind in your life this includes cleaning and organizing. Which an organized and clean house always helps to brighten a homemaker’s day. I am considering doing another post like this for working moms. Y’all face your own problems and slumps. If you would be interested please message me!
*** Note: I have worked while my child was young and it was an out of the home job. I have only been stay at home for about a year and a half now.
1) Find Friends
If you do nothing else on this list find a friend or two. There are so many amazing people out there to become friends with. You do not have to parent the same or even have the same family dynamics. Just be nice and be there for one another.
When I first became a sahm I was about ready to pull my hair out by the second week. I remember laying in bed looking at George and saying, “I HAVE TO make friends”. Two days later laying in bed again he says, “I saw a mom stroller mafia at the park today”. This gave me a giggle and then got me thinking that I should probably go see what he was talking about.
It was hard to work up the courage to go and talk to these ladies, but I am so glad I did. They are amazing and even though I have moved I still talk to a lot of them. The “stroller mafia” as my S.O. likes to call us is actually an organization called Fit4Mom and they are all over the United States. They offer several different classes that generally operate outside and with your little one in tow.
My son now at two loves to do squats and pushups and everything else just like mommy. The group does cost, but for me it saved us money. Instead of always having to go and find something new to do I would just go to the workouts and hangout after with all the moms. It gave us something to do 5 days a week. Plus, one of those two days we did not have class I was normally over at someone’s house for a playdate.
If you are looking for something different than Fit4Moms I suggest checking out Meetup.com this is not a dating site. Meetup.com is a great place to find different groups in your area. Most are free or require a $5 to $10 a month fee. The fee normally goes towards the cost to host the group on Meetup.com.
Examples of common meetups I have seen:
- Mommy and Me
- New Moms
- Wine (group that gets together and has a dinner party with wine once a month)
- Couples groups
- Gamer groups
- And so many others
The group you are looking for may have not been created yet, but it takes no time to start gaining people who want to join. If you decided to go this route do not get discouraged if your first few meet ups have no one or only one person. Keep going and trust me people will start to show up. I have joined so many different groups as I have moved, because it is a great place to start making friends.
2) Start a Gratitude Log/ Journal
I will be real here this is still a work in progress for me too. I start one and just can never get into it myself. I recently downloaded an app called Grateful: A Gratitude Journal & Private Diary to see if that would help me stay with it longer. I will keep y’all updated.
I know a lot of people that say this helps them feel happier and fuller every day. I guess part of my problem is the beginning stage of a gratitude journal is that you tend to be more generic with the stuff you write down. So, I find that I struggle coming up with meaningful things that I feel are worth writing down. I have heard this gets easier as you continue your daily gratitude. If you have given this a try share your thoughts on how it has helped you.
3) Make Time for You
My favorite me time is enjoying a cup of tea during nap or bed time for my little one. Sitting outside or by a window in the cool air conditioning sipping my hot tea is bliss. I try not to look at my phone during this time and instead let my mind wonder.
I see a lot of these motivation blogs and they all tend to have this one tip here. However, I always notice they tend to suggest a girl’s day/night, shopping by yourself, or anything that has to do with getting out of the house. Sometimes our lives do not allow this much time away and this could be for any reason. So, no matter what time to yourself you can accomplish just try to make it happen once a week.
Here is a list of some of my other favorite things to do to make time for myself:
- Decorate my wall calendar for my command center. I love using all the washi tape and stickers to help express myself and my family. It also helps turn a $5.00 calendar into art.
- Take a hot bath with a glass of wine and some bubbles. I have literally done this at 8:00am in the morning before, because that is when I had the chance. Do not get stuck on the idea that something should be done later. You are a stay at home mom the dishes can wait two hours or so.
- For my grandma who loves to garden and was her get away for so many years. She has always claimed she feels closer to God when she is in the garden. This is not my cup of tea, but I also can’t keep a cactus alive.
No matter what it is you find to do try to leave all social networks out of it. If you are a blogger or Instagram person take your one or two photos and then leave the phone alone. This is your time and looking at social networks can cause you more harm than good. There are several articles on this theory that social networks can actually make you more depressed.
4) Get outside everyday
One of the great things about being part of the F4M tribe was that five days a week I was outside for at least an hour and a half. Plus, my tribe had several monthly events that gave us stuff to do all but maybe 10 days out of the month.
Even if you are not part of something like F4M going outside for a quick walk, gardening, or just enjoying the sun rays will help improve your mood.
According to my son’s eye doctor it will also help your child’s eyes to develop. His exact words when I asked him how to help prevent my son’s eyes from getting worse were “take him outside for at least two hours a day”.
5) Eat Healthy and Exercise
I know this tip is said a lot and for many different reasons. Which should give you all the more reasons to give this tip a try. Either way y’all this is the best advice I can give you aside from making friends. Exercising and eating right will help your mood, health, and overall energy levels throughout the day.
I can tell you on multiple occasions I did not want to get up and go work out with my tribe. I would be hurting form starting the womanly monthly gift, or tired because my son woke up that night. My S.O would look at me a lot of times and he would ask “well what else are you going to do today”. This y’all was enough to make me think yes, I should go. It sucked somedays, but midway through I was so happy I went. My child and I got out of the house, I had more energy, and I my child was able to run off some energy.
If you are not a full work out type of person give a short 15-minute walk a try. I knew these two moms that went to this one park where I used to live everyday together. They would do a quick 30-minute walk and then let their kids play. It worked for them and their little ones. So, find what works for you and your munchkin at this point in your journey.
6) Accept change
You do not hear this one much in the mom motivation tips, but I find it a key point. It was and still is something that I struggle with to allow and be OK with. Children change so much, because they are growing especially when they are really young. You may be looking at your baby one day wondering when will they say mom and literally an hour later thinking please just shut up. It happens so fast that if you are not up for the change then it can throw your whole day off.
The biggest change I hear mothers complain about is sleep patterns. Now trust me I get it and I complain about it too. It just does no good to complain, so instead try to roll with it. Babies at one point will start sleeping through the night and suddenly stop for a month or so. This is huge, because as a new mother once you start getting sleep again, and it is taken away from you it’s like a dark cloud has moved permanently over you.
So, do whatever it takes to be OK with the new changes as a new mother. In the first 8 months of my son’s life I probably had 15 different daily schedules. I am a big one for daily schedules, so it always helped brighten my day to make a new one.
7) Make a Schedule
Which leads me into my final big tip for SAHM motivation. Have a set schedule for you little and yourself with the previous tip in mind. A set schedule help gives your child structure and can actual help with their moods, because they will know what is coming next. You may even be surprised at how much easier it is to lay your child down when they have a schedule. Do you already have a schedule? Share with me below. I always say this, but I truly mean it, I love hearing about your life and your own look on different subjects.
The mom blues are a thing and I am not talking about postpartum depression which is also a very real thing. I am simply talking about the fact that your whole world has changed. It does not matter if this was planned or unplanned a baby brings, so much more change than anyone can explain.
My own pregnancy was not planned and not in a million years did I think my family would be able to have me as a stay at home mom. It really threw me off at first and I found myself getting impatient with my son which was odd for me.
It is not a pretty job all the time, but 99.9% of the time I would not give it up for the world. I still have my days that I get in a slump, because I can’t just do this or that. What helps me the most is reading a few blogs, taking time to myself, and hanging with a friend. Even if we have the kids while we are hanging out at least we can roll our eyes at them together.
Have any of my readers experienced mom blues from time to time? What tips have helped you overcome the random days or weeks of depression?